The more you know

Sometimes, I truly wish I knew less.

My education and training in pediatric medicine often perpetuates the relentless cycle of thoughts in my head.  The rare diagnoses and "worst case scenarios" are at the forefront of my brain because I see them everyday in my work.

Every intervention seems to lead to more questions than answers.  A brain MRI does not give us an answer as to why his dysphagia and aspiration persists, but does raise a question of whether he could have balance and vestibular issues based on an incidental finding on his MRI.  A fetal ultrasound detected an abnormality in the umbilical vein, which resulted in a fetal MRI, echocardiogram, and Maternal Fetal Care Center consultation.  Postnatally, Caleb had multiple ultrasounds and appointments with an interventional radiologist as well as the Vascular Anomalies Clinic and had labs drawn twice to monitor this aberrant umbilical vein, which in the end, turned out to be a whole lot of nothing.

Sometimes, I wonder what our life would look like living in a remote area with limited access to healthcare.  If I hadn't had so many high-tech ultrasounds during my pregnancy, would this abnormality have ever been noticed?  Would we have spared Caleb from multiple ultrasounds and lab draws, and ourselves from the anxiety wondering if this was a sign of a bigger issue?

We are so fortunate to have access to this incredibly high level of medical care.  But, we must acknowledge that it comes at a cost.  The cost is often the caregiver's mental health.  Caregiver mental healthcare needs to be prioritized within our medical healthcare system, otherwise we may be doing more net harm than good.