Medical mom and medical professional
The hardest part of being a medical mama and a medical professional is that the line is always blurry. It has become impossible not to bring my emotions into my work. Instead of fighting it and seeing it as a sign of weakness, I have finally decided to embrace it.
Being a clinical pharmacist in the NICU was my passion. I loved NICU babies from fragile, extremely premature neonates to complex infants who spent the majority of their first year of life in the hospital. After having my daughter at 34 weeks and spending 3 weeks as a NICU Mom myself, I had my first experience with this blurry work-life overlap when I returned to work in the NICU after my maternity leave. I came back full-time and full force, not wanting to seem like I had missed a beat. However, I found myself having panic attacks while I was in the NICU working. If a family received bad news about their baby on rounds, it felt like it was happening to me and it was my baby. I was unable to disconnect my brain from that innate maternal reaction after what I had experienced with my daughter. Sometimes just walking into the NICU would make me feel physically ill, overcome with anxiety, thinking I was going to go visit my own baby.
I have always been an empathic soul, but this was a whole new level of emotion and empathy.
After suffering from PTSD for 3 years, I finally decided to leave my position as a NICU pharmacist and completely change course to become an informatics pharmacist specialized in investigational drugs.
Working in informatics and research has been so much healthier for me. I have learned that my experience as a Medical Mom makes me a better healthcare professional. I do not have much direct patient care in my new role, but I can honestly say that I think about every single patient that my work will impact. I am passionate about providing exceptional care and service to our patients and families. I never lose sight of the patient who is at the receiving end of all the work I do in informatics. I know all too well what it feels like to be on the other side of the waiting room.
