Dear Mama
I see you sitting across from me in the waiting room with your sweet baby. This is not what you imagined motherhood would look like - taking your infant to physical and occupational therapy. Constant appointments and worries. I hear the thoughts flying through your head.
Why isn’t my baby rolling over yet?
Is he delayed?
When will he learn to sit?
People say he’s hypotonic- what does that even mean?
Is it a genetic disorder? A neuromuscular disorder?
Is he going to need surgery?
If he needs a helmet, will that set back his progress with rolling, tummy time, and sitting?
Did I do enough exercises with him at home last week? He hates tummy time so much, it’s impossible to fit it in between his tube feeds, bottle feeds, naps, and doctor’s appointments.
Is he going to need PT and OT his entire life?
I want to hug you. My two year old is now running around the waiting room, so excited for his PT and OT appointments, but it wasn’t long ago that I was sitting exactly where you are right now, holding my infant in the waiting room.
Caleb started OT when he was 2 months old and PT when he was 4 months old. By the time he turned 1 year old he had been to the therapy center at Boston Children’s Waltham for 30 appointments total. That doesn’t include his in-home Early Intervention OT services. His second year of life he had even more PT/OT appointments at Children’s Waltham, up to 34 total, while he worked hard to learn how to walk.
As soon as Caleb learned to talk, he knew his therapists by name, as well as his favorite, most loving front desk receptionist. When I wake him up in the morning and say “come on buddy, we’re going to PT to see Miss S today” he immediately follows it with “and Miss E!” - our beloved receptionist who welcomes him with open arms.
Caleb now pushes the button to open the door to enter the waiting room and quite literally runs into OT/PT. He goes right up to the desk and checks himself in. I joke that I could probably drop him off at the door- he doesn’t even need me! When he was an infant and I was navigating this unexpected reality, I never imagined how much I would grow to love this waiting room.
The anxiety has dissipated- just a small buzz in the back of my mind now- overshadowed by the pride and joy I feel watching Caleb work so hard and have so much fun. The love, support, and compassion I have received from Caleb’s physical and occupational therapists is impossible to put into words. They have been there for me and held me in my loneliest times facing the challenges of a medically complex infant. We have spent more time with them than we have with all of Caleb’s physicians combined. They are at the center of his care and it is such a blessing that they came into our lives when Caleb was only a few months old. I could not have done this without their unconditional support.
But Mama, I see you. I was you. Driving an hour each way, sitting in traffic, stressed about finding a parking spot and making it in time. Meals, snacks, and tube feeds on the road. Missed naps and early morning wake-ups. Take a moment to breathe. You made it. You’re doing it.
I will leave a hug for you across the waiting room. You just have to be willing to receive it.
